On the assumption that my memories serve me right, the last time I had a relationship I was excited about was in 2019. I loved it too much that everything outside the relationship bubble was a blur. And that has been the only time I have been in love. 

In my experience, people neglect to talk about the feelings associated with not being in a committed relationship: loneliness, sadness, envy, self-dismissal, and even sometimes, anger. There is a need in human beings to want to be attached to another individual and proclaim to the world that this is who they love and they also love them in return. Romantic relationships take hard labor but they are also fulfilling. They come with some of the sparks that make life interesting and brighter. The thought of being cherished by another is a fuel I hope people don’t take for granted. On the days when life is harder, the fact that you have someone genuinely interested in making you feel better is gold and I miss it. 

“Hey, I know you are at work but I just wanted to hear your voice and cheer you on. I love you.”

“I cooked this for you.”

Beautiful and awkward and comfortable shower moments. Gym time. Lengthy calls that make you forget about the difficult phase you might be in because you are speaking to a person that always makes you feel better about yourself. 

 I once saw a tweet that said “having a lover can get you motivated to do the unthinkable.” I wouldn’t say this is 100% true but studies have shown that it is possible. Your lover eventually knows you a lot more than any other person and because you have chosen to be vulnerable with them, and because they love you so much that you can feel it, you lower your guard around them and open up about things that might have been too heavy. You see yourself as a better person and also want to become better. You are motivated to do the unthinkable. 

I didn’t want to feel that it was just me that felt motivated in a relationship, so I made a google form and shared it with friends and acquaintances on my Whatsapp contact list and it turned out we have the same thoughts. Most of the answers accepted that having a partner makes them feel less alone in the world, gives them something to look forward to every day, and makes them feel wholesome and complete.

I also asked if having a partner can change or impact their lives, and the answers I got were intriguing. Some agreed that having a partner cannot change their life. Others that are the majority agreed that yes, their partner changed them in ways more than one. A lady offered that her eating habits changed because she communicated more with her partner about the issues going on with her instead of ignoring them like she used to. I also got answers that said their partners positively impacted their mental and emotional stability.  

A type of love that especially hurts is the unrequited type and it is worse when it appears as unreciprocated love extensions in a relationship. It stings like sweat on a cut. I know it can be difficult and almost impossible to know how the love from a significant other runs out, but still, let’s hope for happiness. 

Happiness is a fundamental factor and love can be the harbinger. The pleasure from romantic love is major and thus, can never be replaced. 

I am curious about what romantic love means to you. Tell me in the comments section, if you’d like.