Judge me

Strip me of my title

the claim to my very name

Rob me of my honor

like I do not deserve it anyway

Place me under scrutiny

like a suspect being investigated

Take me apart

Piece after piece

As if trying to mend a broken timepiece

I want to know what you think of me

When the world’s levitating

but my feet are on the ground

When the world calls out for me

But I can barely make a sound

When my head nods yes

but my mind refuses

When I’m standing

but all my resolve is broken

When I do not wear my heart on my sleeve

but I wear my heart anyway

In tight folds under my skin

What do you think of me?

Wanting to stay but leaving all the same

When I pack what’s left of my existence

in a suitcase leaving trails of doubts

Knowing no one would come to seek me out

Knowing I do not want to be found

Knowing where I’m coming from

might be no different from

where I’m going

but going anyway

I might end up a wanderer a scavenger

Hell I might wind up in the Stone Age

striking rocks to make fire

Scared and alone

My territory becomes a danger zone

But If you could tell my story

by just looking at me

then here I am

Judge me

Like I am an offender before a jury

Like I’m in cuffs and

you’re the one with the key

Like my being free is dependent on

your perception of me so

What do you think of me?

When I’m living but not living

up to your expectations

When I am slaving away my conscience

trying to please people displeasing me

When I throw caution to the wind sometimes

because trying to stay sane at all times

can get so overwhelming

Would I seem less ideal?

Would you hold it against me?

My fear is being afraid of nothing

and at the same time

being afraid of everything so

You might get lost trying

but if you do not mind going around in circles to define me then

Harshly, brutally, however, it may seem

Judge me

Samirah Ali is a poet and a prose writer residing in Kaduna. She is a student of psychology at the prestigious Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria. She is an ardent lover of art and when her mind is not submerged in creative art, she is a woman in tech. She spends her time learning as a web developer. She also loves singing when the world is not looking. A few of her works can be found on Instagram @sxmiiirah and Medium @Samirah Ali.